like a bridge over troubled waters

Ahh melancholy night, swept aside by chirpy sunshine
Flick'd away with gay abandon
Thus she breezed into his world, with life and zest
Where there had been neither

Up from the depths of his restless soul,
She showed him how to love again,
She taught him how to live.
Guide, Friend, Lover.
In a flash she was his all
and he, all hers.

He loved the sparkle in her voice
That sweet clear laughter
Those beautiful deep eyes
Vibrant with life, consonant with the world.

She loved his dreamy eyes
Expressive full lips
His frown as he reasoned against the world
while he swept patterns in her hair

They gambolled in the sand
Traced fortunes in that golden sand
They whooped and danced to rock n roll
His soft melodies mixed with joyous exuberant tunes

Then the languid summer
Sweet nothings
Bliss forever, but

Destiny interfered, his dreams beckoned
Standing at the crossroads of life
Two wayfarers, each to walk his separate path
Promises whispered in the ears of time

Time continues its endless march
He had a new life, new friends, new lovers
The letters reduced to a trickle
Bright summer days past,
faded to distant memories

Promises, forgotten
Someday...

god

had a discussion with anu abt god
i was like, god for me is some kind of a power, not a traditional corporeal being or anywhere close to that either

i found this blog where the guy also has similar views...cant link that blog to mine, so i will just paste his address here :D

http://rishen.blogspot.com/

note: similar is not equal to same

morning glory

quiz went bad, but i aint complaining
gotta worry abt the fucked up project now
fuck

anyways, i sense that my blogging is getting easier now...no more 10 page long posts which i myself found hard to go through :)

read about the ... poof! the train of thought derailed so perfectly :D
ahh! finally!
read about the introduction of even more reservations into IITs and IIMs
made my blood boil...when will the congress ever get out of these goddamn appeasement policies?!
vote bank politics makes a poor case for the whole of democracy
damn i am too sleepy to extend my thoughts...

a-HA!

wow this feels so good
i have been up all night, and actually prepared for the quiz
finally some responsibility creeps in
i pray that my BTP work goes off well as well
anyways lets see how the quiz goes
gotta prepare the ppt too, for the evening
wonder how i am gonna stay awake :-s

boshmania

i dint cover the core issue of boshing, in the previous blog (bosh?)
gotta break free man! i wonder if its possible though
in anycase, its an excellent forum for exchange of ideas
i mean, messenger chat abt arbit stuff is quite cumbersome, hopefully comment-giri in such a place will be good
and this bosh trash will be banished too :)

bush bash boshing

just boshed on orkut, about bush


"i hate bush
i love hugo chavez
i love indore
i hate bush
this is all bosh, balderdash"

wich brings us to the core issue, ie, Indore
Me and the IIM Indore interview panelists went off like a house on fire.
GD wasnt that good, but it was one hell of a boring case study anyways. i was just trying to open my mouth once in a while so that i wudnt be left behind :D

i really should note down the interview in greater detail, but i havent got much time
for future reference, lemme list out the points
1) application of management principles in civil engg
(waah they dint allow me to go civil-bashing)
2)road network optimisation or some such crap...went off into MMTS
3)delhi metro, sreedharan, comparison of the 3 over various parameters
4)parameter change across cities - 3x3 matrix
5)matrix operations!!
6)mumbai soil, foundation, queerity, earthquake, remedy

GB: tell us el literary champo, have u read any wordsworth?
rr:No sir!
GB:any plays at all?
rr:No sir!
GB:read any books by ____
rr: ?
GB:read any books by ____
rr: ???
GB:read any books by Arthur Hailey?
rr: yes sir, Airport (had actually read the beginning before giving up :D)
GB: whats the story?
rr: ummm...awww...some crap abt airport maintenance
GB: eyes pop out in disbelief
rr: swift backpedalling...force-fed by dad story, bachpan ki kahani
GB: well read Grisham?
rr: yes yes yes
GB: latest book?
rr: King of Torts, no wait, theres one after that too
GB: what?
rr: boing

some more fart abt grisham the firm adn then mafia
onto heavy industries crap, boing boing boing

OPEC, venezuela, CHAVEZ, AP, done!

someone said

"every parent thinks their kid is the best..ur parents think u r as gud or mayb bettr dan da one who got 18 lacs.. ;-)hey dats how parents r..for dem dere kid is second2 none.. so instd of being anoyd u shud think dey r cute :-)..n u no wat at times it really feels great that dere r a bunch of pepl who beliv in u..infact my mom belivd in me evn wen i had lost faith in myself..n watevr im 2day its all thanx2 her faith.."

i am too busy rite now to add anything from my own head :D

truth

ugly ramblings of a self-conscious mind
that is where i left last time, and i will try to shake free
it is so tough
i am somewhat unable to contend with the external, and what about the internal itself?

first: i cannot focus on a single issue, my mind just wanders and flits...too fast for my own thoughts to condense :(

i am now increasingly inclined to drift towards ruchir's idea of a life-partner. the adjustment thing just doesnt gel well nowadays. talked to him about that, and he gave the simplest and best reaction...wait and watch

that is all fine, but what about my own failure spiral? how do i do anything before i sort myself out! that confident swagger was slowly but surely upstaged starting with my third year. damn has it been just so little time?

issues of responsibility. towards myself required to get through the next few days till the project submission

it starts

a thought entered my head the other day, while i was looking into the mirror.
just look at me, i thought, looking totally wrecked. havent shaved in maybe 15 days, screwed up my hair, havent brushed daily...
the brushing part especially got my attention...i just dint want to brush!
then i realised that somewhere inside, i wanted to get this way.
reminded me of Jim Morrison, the original Lizard King.

only, while the doors singer was looking to shake free from his image, my own condition is part confusion, part self-loathing, and indeed, partly a deliberate attempt at moving away from conventionality.

have been quite blue lately, but if it helps me figure out something, i will be glad.
i just get these flashes now, wanting to ditch this lifestyle and do whatever i wanna do, instead of following the script. why does anyone else have to define my idea of happiness? i suppose i can get bold enough to ditch everything and explore my world first. if i need to claw my way back, i will do that.
atleast i would have the satisfaction of trying...

what i do need, before all these wanderings, are thoughts, ideas. my thoughts dont match upto scratch so far, so i need to work on that.

also, there is this traitor-ish part deeper which sees this excursion as nothing more than an adventure which will only help me in differentiating from the crowd. damn.

all images of unconventionaldom are assosiated with travel, the himalayas, the andes. is my silly mind so impressionable that these wanderings are so cruelly inspired *directly* by two movies??
the question arises: what, if not a normal life?



leaving that aside for the time being, why this phase at all? the answer is 'failure'
i havent been living upto my own standards, i suppose i am not the man i want to position myself as (smart manager etc). why could i not catch up with that interview? i have to face up to it...my mind played tricks on me there...where was my will-power back then?
how do i cope with being anything less than my own image? mediocrity is not fitting into my system. it is civil war within myself...i do nothing to change myself, and everything to further war
why am i built like this anyway? why that inertia to send that darned mail to my future employer? if it is laziness, i would hate it, but it is not. i cannot put my finger on it darn

[OT] ahh...a trip to the terrace and the mind is clear now. i should do this more regularly! that inertia yet not laziness issue upset me, and i almost went off to sleep. but somehow i went to the terrace and my thoughts cleared up...it was only when i return that i realise that i have my answer! lateral stuff at its best!

i have had this streak of harming my own interests. phases of abject listlessness have been there, but a bigger thing above these. while at the terrace, i was exposed to my mind not wanting to finish my degree on time! just like that, i wanted to screw myself. thought about it for a moment and dint see much sense there even unconventionally. thank god i am aware of this now - will consciously talk myself out of this scheme.
noticed this self-contorsion back when dealing with that livestrong foundation too

***i got to be aware of my own inner workings!